Tuesday Ten: Stupid Questions You Shouldn't Ask Your Coach

Your elementary school teacher used to say, "There are no stupid questions." Well, she was wrong. There are stupid questions and if you ask your coach one of these ten questions, you're likely to get punched in the face (results may vary).

1. It says Snatch. Does that mean full snatch or power snatch?

It means I hate you.

2. What am I doing today?

Learning how to read your program apparently.

3. Did you see (Instagram Loser Name Here)'s video? He/she posted it at 11:43 am.

No I was working. Also, I don't care.

4. Should I compete at the event we are hosting?

If you want to remain on this team you will.

5. If my back hurts on squats then I should just keep squatting, right?

You should keep on walking right out the door and into a chiropractor's office.

6. Can I max out today? Everything feels so easy! I mean I know I'm competing in a few days but I want to.

Sure. But I'm not coaching you at your meet coming up BECAUSE YOU JUST RUINED MY LIFE.

7. Is it cool if I don't pay you this month?

Only if you don't want a program this month. I know your 18,000th pair of shoes and 6,000th shot of Patron this month was worth it.

8. Why does my form suck? I only missed two months of practice.

Go directly to jail. Do not collect $200.

9. Do I have to stretch?

Nah. Just injure yourself and complain about it for 3 months.

10. Why aren't you coming to my meet?

Because you signed up without telling me, told me three days before, and it's 12 hours away.

Have you said any of these things?  Heard any better "stupid questions"? Let me know what they are in the comments!

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As always you can comb through the Archives to see some past Tuesday Ten gems, read some of my national publications, or check out some before and afters of Sheppard Strength clients.